today

today was hard
in that
i didn’t think about you
or the pain in my chest
my mind was abuzz
and my thoughts tangled
with the everyday mundane
i didn’t think about you
today
and I feel so guilty

most

i have always loved you
but i like you most
in the softest of light
when your eyes are low
and your gaze away and focused
i like you most
when your passion for
notes and strings and melodies
tilts your voice high and a touch frantic
i like you most
when you make me
the food of my childhood
with every ounce of care and love
like my mother did
i like you most
when you talk about wanting a daughter
and the sweet name she’d have
i like you most
when you wrap your arms around me
and let me breathe and release and cry
i like you most
always

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the people we love
the most
are flawed inconceivably
the most
yet we are blinded
by our love for them
we do not recognize
the pain they inflict
on our now toughened skin

evade me

tired eyes yet i won’t
succumb to sleep
not yet not now
a buzz a whirl too many
unfavoured thoughts floating
above the trees amongst the clouds
too far from my reach
so i sit and watch
with tired eyes, restless
as the sun contemplates
going to work this morning
perhaps it could join me,
sitting together and deciding
wasting away.